LGBTQ* Tumblrs We Wanted To Share
PFLAG Mom and a word cloud describing how she felt when her son came out as Trans*
Lovely Tumblr Family and Friends,
If you are not familiar with PFLAG Mom on Tumblr, I highly recommend you check out her blog. She is a phenomenal ally voice and offers wonderful insight outside of the teen/twenty-something bubble. She is also a constant source of inspiration, passionate dialogues, compassionate love, thoughtful opinions, and acts as an all-inclusive educator.
The KNOWhomo team knows the importance of allies and the community of PFLAG. Tell her hello and feel free to mention that we shared her information with you. We consider her family.
LGBTQ* & PFLAG Information You May Have Missed
Text below by amazing Tumblr blogger PFLAGmom (pflagmom.tumblr)
“Their two major goals are: 1. to place on the 2014 Missouri ballot an initiative banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. and 2. A constitutional amendment supporting marriage equality in Missouri. These are daunting tasks to say the least. But this just may be the time to get this done. I live in a small town in Missouri and our local public school system (where my son had to fight to get the GSA recognized 6 years ago) has recently added sexual orientation and gender identity to its nondiscrimination statement. This is huge!! I’m involved now in a letter-writing campaign at my university to have our non-discrimination statement amended to add sexual-orientation. This year, our Board of Governors may actually pass it! Now- to the state level!
It is estimated (based on polls) that up to 60% of Missourians support nondiscrimination protection for LGBT people. We just need to get the measure on the ballot THEN fight to get it get it passed.”
If you are a registered voter in Missouri or have friends/family who are, please read the rest of the post HERE. Together we can make each corner of the world a safer and more inclusive place.
… I asked [my son] Jonathan what he felt were the strongest negative and the strongest positive aspects for him in having grown up with lesbian parents. He said the strongest benefit he felt he gained was that he knew that he did not have a lot of the hang-ups that some other boys did about men and women. And the most negative aspect he felt, Jonathan said, was the ridicule he got from some kids with straight parents. ‘You mean, from your peers?’ I said. ‘Oh no,’ he answered promptly. ‘My peers know better. I mean other kids.’”-Audre Lorde, poet, author, theorist, activist, lesbian mother
- What would your peers say?
Vocabulary You Should Know (and understand)
Graphic and following text from BASIC RIGHTS OREGON:
You may have heard the word cisgender before, but you may not know what it means. Cisgender is a term used to describe people who, for the most part, identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. For example, if a doctor said “it’s a boy!” when you were born, and you identify as a man, then you could be described as cisgender. In other words, ‘cisgender’ is used to describe people who are not transgender.
So why do we say ‘cisgender’ instead of ‘non-transgender’? Because, referring to cisgender people as ‘non trans’ implies that cisgender people are the default and that being trans is abnormal. Many people have said ‘transgender people’ and ‘normal people’, but when we say ‘cisgender’ and ‘transgender’ neither is implied as more normal than the other.
Using the word ‘cisgender’ is also an educational tool. To simply define people as ‘non-trans’ implies that only transgender people have a gender identity. But that’s not true. Like sexual orientation, race, class, and many other identities, all of us have a gender identity.
Language is important; it defines human relationships. That is why it’s important use language of equality and inclusion.
LGBTQ* Insight and Ideas
(following text from PflagWestchester)
An Effective Ally…
• Respects confidentiality.
• Allows individuals to lead the direction of the conversation, lets them
make their own choices, and listens, listens, listens.
• Talks to LGBT family, friends, and coworkers.
• Avoids assumptions and stereotyping.
• Tries using gender-neutral terms when talking about significant others,
spouses, and partners.
• Expects to make some mistakes, but doesn’t use them as an excuse
for not acting.
• Acknowledges how homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism have
operated in their life.
• Educates themself about issues facing LGBT people.
• Has a sense of humor.
• Knows when and how to refer somebody to outside help, and to get
professional adult intervention when necessary.
An Effective Ally Doesn’t …
• Have all the answers.
• Try to “fix” problems
• Proceed with an interaction if boundaries or personal safety have been
violated.
Photo from: NYU’s Ally Week. Copied from: Toronto District School Board’s website
LBGTQ* History Through Pictures
PFLAG Moms, Mrs. Elizabeth Montgomery & Mrs. Jean Manford, show their support during the 1974 Pride Day Parade in New York City.
LGBTQ* Links, Guides, Manuals, Outreach and Supportive Literature
for the Trans* Community and their Allies
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force: Transgender Equality
Trans Equality’s Understanding Transgender Guide
APA - American Psychological Associations - Q&A Gender Expression/Transgender
Center for Disease Control (CDC) Guide/Info on Trans* Community and HIV/AIDS
Pflag Canada’s “So What Is It Like To Be Transgender” Pdf
Northern Illinois’ University Sexuality and Gender Guide
Bisexuality and Transgender Research from Rev. Susan Craig (Religious)
LBGTQ* Books To Keep On Your Radar
Love, Ellen: A Mother / Daughter Journey
More than 20 years have passed since Ellen DeGeneres came out to her mother on a beach in Mississippi. Stunned, Betty DeGeneres could only think of her own disappointed expectations. As she put her arms around her daughter, she was struck by the realization that she would never see Ellen’s picture on the engagements page of the Times-Picayune, her local paper. That Ellen would eventually appear on the front page of thePicayune and countless newspapers and magazines around the world is an irony not lost on her mother: “If I had known she was going to grow up to be Ellen DeGeneres,” Betty quips, “I would have taken more pictures.”
Now the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign’s National Coming Out Project, Betty DeGeneres travels the country explaining how she came to terms with her daughter’s sexuality, and how love and acceptance can transform a family. Love, Ellen is an extension of her warm and much-admired public speaking, providing insight into her own life as well as Ellen’s and arguing for further education, compassion, and the passage of antidiscrimination laws. —Regina Marler
— Personal Note: My roommates actually gave me a copy of this when I came out so I could hear from a mother’s perspective some of the things my family would go through in my process. I highly recommend it. - Rebecca
LGBTQ* Outreach, Support and Allies
Rebecca: I am one of the lucky individuals in the LGBTQ* community who has a very supportive and loving family who embraces me. However, even saying this, I can tell you it wasn’t immediately easy and things were a bit rough in the beginning. Families, especially parents, have their own coming out process and find their own voice as we find ours.
Most of the time, coming out involves a long process and infinite time which we use to develop strength, confidence and self-worth. We forget that when we are finally ready to share our truths, the people around us need time to adjust and take in the information. It isn’t that they don’t support and love us, it is that while we have spent so long figuring out what will make us happy we forget the ones that love us have pictured our happiness a different way for so long. In a certain way, we must grant them time to change the hopes and dreams they have given us over years (for it takes love to dream great things for people).
About a year after I came out to my mother, she attended a few PFLAG meetings at a chapter in Northern Louisiana. PFLAG has this unique way of introducing people who share a fabulous love - one that is not defined by conventional laws and culture.
Should you want more information for your family, check in with a local PFLAG chapter or check the PFLAG National Website.
Keep On Keeping On!
picture source: unknown
LGBTQ* Equality Marches, Pride and Rally History
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender movement recognizes that our quest for social justice fundamentally links us to the struggles against racism and sexism, class bias, economic injustice, and religious intolerance.
~~Action Statement Preamble to March Platform
(above picture: Father/Daughter protesters at the gay and lesbian pride protest in Washington, D.C. in 1993)